As I already did a piece on sitcoms and how babies kill them, I wanted to write about something else bugging me on television. It might appear as if I was watching far too much TV to be able to write about it so extensively, but, hey, I am a freelance writer, so there is lots and lots of time to cover between writing.
I have to admit I am completely obsessed with Pretty Little Liars (henceforth PLL). I know it is a teenager's series, but I find it very entertaining, exciting and scary. Additionally, it features the best TV character of the whole range of series (yes, Spencer Hastings, I am talking about you) and just watching Spencer all day makes my day (is that sad?)
However, upon watching it I have noticed some issues I find rather annoying and which apply also to a range of other teenage series. If you agree or disagree, comment here or on Facebook.
1) Where the heck are your parents?
In PLL we see the characters' parents; however, I would have to say they're quite terrible at their job of parenting as their fifteen/sixteen year old daughters can just walk around past midnight, dress like hookers and drink alcohol.
Of course in PLL it isn't by far as horrible as in Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girl or 90210 where you actually wonder if you should call the social services because they're doing such a bullshit job as parents.
2) How gross is Ezra Fitz?
I have never understood why there could be any Ezria fans because I think it is disgusting. For all the non PLL fans, Aria is one of the characters, aged fifteen at the beginning, and Ezra Fitz is her teacher with whom she starts an affair and the series is trying to tell people that it is totally normal and acceptable.
Well, I think it is gross when an at least 25 year old man fancies fifteen/sixteen year old girls who go to school - even though Aria really dresses like a whore.
3) The clothes????
Alright, I was never a role model for fashion when I was fifteen/sixteen. I looked horrible, seriously; however, I would still say the Liars dress in ways which are just stupid. Hanna looks like a business woman/wife of a rich billionaire and Aria looks like a mixture of circus director, hooker and goth chick. I have to admit that Spencer mostly looks believable and Emily actually looks like a teenager with her jeans and sweaters.
4) What's wrong with Alison?
OK, we would need a full post entry for that but I am referring to her sluttiness. On the Liars' path of finding out about her secret past, she hooks up with Ezra (ewww, this guy really is a perv, not a hottie), goes to college parties, etc...When did she start this bullshit? With twelve? Ugh, her parents really suck at their job.
5) How daft can you be?
Of course the series wants to create suspension and tension but how often do you have to use the same tools to achieve that? Seriously, during the series the girls repeatedly all walk into a room which is then closed by A or when they all come out again their car has been stolen or a message is written on the wind screen. Just a remainder, their group consists of four and up to seven people and they don't get the idea that at least ONE person could stand watch and tell the other people if someone is coming or at least position someone OUTSIDE a room with a lockable door????
Also, why do all of you have front doors out of glass? That is like the stupidest thing I have ever heard, not only can people peep easily into your privacy, they can also easily break into the house and, furthermore, why does no one of you DRAW THE CURTAINS AT NIGHT????? It is nearly as if you wanted A to peep inside and watch your every move.
6) Why does it never occur to you to consult the police?
OK, this is a little daft as the whole series relies on them not going to the police and Wilden's corruption adds to it; however, in some episodes it really reaches a level of stupidity to not go to the cops and ask their help.
7) Why don't you double and triple save things???
Again, this is an issue that has occurred various times in the series. The girls get some information on a flash-drive/email/text, decide to bring it to the police (but not on this very same day out of some reason) and then A deletes it and they are back to square 1. If I got information which could help me prove a psychopathic stalker was behind me, I would immediately save it to all computers I have and those of my friends, saving it online and printing out the pics to make sure they cannot be all destroyed!! Don't be so daft, Liars!
So this were the few things bugging me out and there are more to come on PLL, Gilmore Girls and Harry Potter and possibly some few more to come and I hope you enjoyed reading it and if you disagree or agree with me, I would like to hear from you in either case.
Several things to finish off February and embrace March (finally!).
First of all, I am momentarily at a friend's house, dog-sitting her adorable two canines, which has kept me quite busy over the past days.
Additionally, I am only a week away from starting a master's degree in English Lit and media, so, full failure-mode on...No, seriously, I know for most people it would not count as "failure" to start their higher degree, but, believe me, for me it kind of does, but let's not dwell on it now and I will tell you more about it when I have actually started with it.
I had some thoughts on education...profound, right? I know, I am annoying, but it really fascinates me how rotten our school systems are and how hardly anyone seems to notice. The past days I looked through my teaching material and, among spotting the many mistakes I committed as a young teacher, found that I had a pretty good approach to teaching English and sometimes wonder why regular schools fail to come up with more inspiring and motivating education which led me to think about it in closer relation to my present situation.
The problem of my life now is that I am so paralysed by choice that I actually prefer standing in the middle, doing hardly anything, than taking a step and make a decision. However, the reason why I - and so many other young people - seem incapable to make decisions is a) the immense fear of rejection and failure and b) the unwillingness to take up real responsibility. I believe I have already written about this phenomenon in a previous post but it seems to haunt me - and not only me but from what I hear from conversations of people my age it seems to be a problem concerning the whole generation and, probably, all humans.
Recently, I read a very fascinating article by a psychologist, stating that people in the earlier days knew exactly what was expected of them, their limits and possibilities. If born a farmer or miller, you knew becoming king was out of the league; if you were born into the aristocracy you knew you were expected to be married off to some other rich person and couldn't date a working class member.
I am not saying class separation is a good thing, on the contrary; however, as the psychologist stated, in their cases you could blame the system for unhappiness and limitations whereas now - with our world with seemingly endless possibilities and choices - the only person you can blame for a poor choice is you and you have to take up full responsibility for your choice as making a decision always bears responsibility in itself.
I would never say that having choice and possibilities and attempt to equal everyone's possibilities is a bad development. I think, however, that there are some flaws with this system which should be tweaked such as the lack of teaching how to deal with the vast amount of possibilities and choice and helping young people to make the right one. Second, possibilities always mean trying something out and we can only try if we're willing to experience a possible failure. Trying is the very essence of assuming the possibility of failure, after all. Now, however, we live in a world with school systems which teach in a way that makes failure the worst thing possible to happen. Every misstep is immediately punished, whether by grades, detention or public humiliation. As failure is to be omitted in our school systems, trying becomes eradicated and, therefore, choice and possibilities a burden instead of the blessing they should and could be.
This leads me to the next point. I actually don't believe that our system gives equal possibilities and choices as it pretends to do. Saying everyone has the same chance and realising it are two completely different things. It is impossible to make the chances for everyone the same - especially if you chose one single path from all the different paths and put it above the others. We perceive the academic path (school, university, higher degrees, manager jobs, etc) as the only successful way of life and therefore there are a lot of people who are doomed to fail, even if they needn't to. Not everyone needs to go to university and instead of trying to find ways so that everyone can go to university, we need to leave the idea behind that only the academic path is successful. University is just one of many life paths which can be pursued and it is not superior in any way to becoming a carpenter, florist, tour guide or secretary. So, the only way, as I see it, to achieve equal possibilities for everyone is to embrace all possibilities and don't subject them to hierarchy but regard each of them as equally important and valuable.
This is just the opinion of one individual out there in the world. Thank you for reading.
I am a huge fan of the sitcoms How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory (or, as Trump would say, yuge fan, the best in the world, seriously, yuge).
However, I think most fans can agree that towards the finishing lines, they often lose their level of greatness and descend to being solely endured, rather than enjoyed.
I can say that only for HIMYM, for sure though. We all know how it ended, and most agreed that the ending sucked.
However, I think the whole last season sucked to a standard which wasn't in any way acceptable any more. I mean, the episode with the last slap? Embarrassingly pathetic.
TBBT is my favourite sitcom in the world - even far better than HIMYM in my opinion. I think what is so great about TBBT is that it behaved atypical to many other sitcoms, with the years and seasons, it actually always became better and better instead of worse. Think about it, we started with four quirky nerds and a gullible, yet sweet girl and we loved it; however, throw in Bernadette and Amy (my personal favourite, to be honest) and it becomes just hilarious and awesome. Also, I felt that the characters of TBBT were developing in some sort of way, which is often unusual for sitcoms which are so humorous. Don't get me wrong, the characters in HIMYM seemingly develop, too, but do they really? Mostly (and also in the end, more or less) we have Lily and Marshal in love and Ted, Robin and Barney in a weird threesome situation (again), so actually, they haven't been really developing - they only got older. Throughout the series they are still co-dependent on each other to an almost unbearable extent and towards the end I, and probably many more, was just glad I didn't have to see them anymore as they were simply annoying me.
The last season of TBBT (10, if you haven't stayed up-to-date), started out pretty poorly, too, in my opinion. My man and I were sorely disappointed of many episodes and although it's been catching up in the last three or so, it just doesn't seem to work so well anymore.
I have a theory to this. The moment Lily and Marshal got Marvin, the quality of the sitcom started to drop.
Now, Bernadette and Howard have a baby, and it happens again. Why is that?
Well, people who have babies don't meet their friends everyday in a tiny apartment and have time for the things Lily/Marshal and Bernadette/Howard seem easily to find (things like buying comic books, hanging out with their friends every day and sipping drinks).
HIMYM and TBBT base on groups of young people who come to a city where they have no family and find each other (more or less, of course some exceptions, but, hey, Howard is Jewish - his mother wouldn't let him go anywhere). It is fun to watch them have fun and do unspeakable things most of us can only dream of, which is why we love to watch it; however, throw in a baby in the equation and it suddenly just seems sad.
Lily and Marshal still hang out in the bar ALL THE TIME although they have a baby to look after. Bernie and Howie still have dinner in a teeny weeny apartment (compared to their house) and he seems to be free to play with his friends at the same time Bernadette meets with Penny and Amy.
I am, of course, not saying you cannot maintain friendship when you have a baby, but I doubt that young parents have the energy and time to spend so much of it with their friends, seemingly abandoning the baby in the process.
I have to admit, I like the way TBBT deals with it better, as it works in a different way than HIMYM (so profound, isn't it, but these really are the things I think about in my leisure time...sad). In HIMYM everything works over much more time frames and gives a more general insight into life whereas in TBBT we mostly see how the characters meet in the cafeteria or in one home, without really knowing how much time was in between (whether they eat together nearly every day or just every week). Therefore, it makes a little more sense to think they have just put their daughter down after they spent the whole day with her; still, the baby just kills the sitcom...or probably family does, as I hardly believe anyone who had a healthy, young family would spend so much doing things they did in their twenties...only compare to SATC, four young, single New Yorker women who constantly meet for cocktails? Alright. Four grown women who have children, work and other commitments? Sad.
I wonder whether some of my readers think I share too many details of my life...
I know I have not been holding back with anything, not even with intimate details about my visit to my OBG, but there is a reason behind this.
Do I flinch when I write about rectal experiences and the thought one of my ex-students might read this and share it at school? Of course. Am I aware how vulnerable I make myself with these posts? Sure, I do.
So why would I do it? Well, because I think it is extremely exhausting and sad how most people only show off the polished version of themselves and I, for a change, want to share good as bad things because this is about sharing stories of my life and, as you might have noticed, my life isn't a parade of wonderful events which make one amazing picture to admire. It has its quirks, its roads downwards and its pit holes, as I assume every life has.
The other day I had a little meltdown (among my many) with my man when he asked me whether I didn't want to go out a little more. I told him I didn't want to see anybody because no one showed who they truly were, anyway. Think about it, what do you really know about the people in your life, your friends and people you know, seriously. Do you know what keeps them up at night? Do you know whether they don't cry themselves into their sleep regularly? Do you know about their sorrows and inner worries? Probably not, because as it seems people slice off the perfect parts of their lives and position them in the most cajoling light, always under full control what leaks out and what doesn't.
I often hear people say how social media supports the superficiality of our times, and I agree. However, I don't think it started with social media. I think that humanity started to polish their public reputations ever since there was something like status. There is even the saying "don't wash your dirty laundry in public". But why? Why? If more people "washed their dirty laundry in public" probably people wouldn't feel like freaks anymore because they're constantly sad or depressed...probably, people could talk to each other and find solutions together.
I must say that I don't know the dark things which hold their firm grip on the people I know. I know about my family (mostly) and my man (if he decides to share), but apart from that, hardly anyone seems to be honest with the people around, and possibly even themselves.
I do, however, also understand why. Being honest, admitting failure or defeat means allowing vulnerability and giving people the chance to judge or criticise you, but don't they do that anyway? It doesn't matter how much you decide to reveal or not. I know people who are constantly holding everything together, fiercely anxious that anyone might peep underneath their well-set walls and assume what's lurking beneath and they still get judged - by me for instance for their incapability to let go and let other people help them with their problems.
I am not saying you should share your innermost feelings and problems with any random person, not at all; however, I believe if we didn't make it a taboo anymore to "wash your dirty laundry in the public", more people would feel they could talk about the dark things in their lives and less would feel alienated and abandoned. I felt like a freak the entire time I was a teenager until, quite by coincidence, I found out that most of my fellow students suffered from failure anxiety and future fears as well and shed the one or other tear with their parents and I finally felt like there was hope for me.
By polishing the things we do to an extent that we actually might start to believe ourselves we are enjoying them, we lie to others and, even worse, ourselves and will probably end up thinking we're freaks for not always feeling great and happy as the people around us seemingly do.
So, I have decided to share some details of my life with you which I feel not completely comfortable sharing, but making myself vulnerable, opening up and admitting my fears and anxieties to myself and others, has deliberated me in many ways in the past years and I think it can heal yourself and others who can identify themselves with your experiences and if you shouldn't feel "healed" or inspired, I just hope you have fun reading about the life of one of many individuals struggling with every day life and growing up.
For many women, the visit to their gynecologist is apparently an absolute horror scenario, some have even told me they prefer going to the dentist. I, personally, cannot comprehend this as the OBG's finger poking in your vagina at least doesn't prevent you from speaking, right? The most horrible thing about being at the dentist is the powerlessness you feel because you're tied to a chair and muted by having to open your mouth all the time. I can at least chit-chat with my OBG while he's doing his work.
Yes, you read correctly. I have a male OBG, apparently another horror scenario for some women and, again, something I cannot quite grasp why. I must say, I don't mind going to the OBG. I wouldn't care if seven doctors were looking at my lady parts at the same time because they're doctors, they don't blush upon seeing your doorway to heaven or make these weird sounds sexually interested men make when seeing your lady parts. Actually, my OBG's disinterest in my vagina as a sexual thing reaches a level of offensiveness, seriously, it's as if he were looking at my elbow or something.
Anyway, I went to see him earlier this week and, as always, it was just such a bizarre experience I wanted to tell you about it - though for many women even talking about their visits to their OBG issues blushing and embarrassment, so if you're one of these prudes, I wouldn't recommend reading on, as anal interaction is being involved as well.
Ready? Set, go. First of all, I had to wait forty minutes into the arranged time and I still don't understand why - even if you make an appointment - you always have to wait with doctors. Seriously, whether you make an appointment or just pop up, it doesn't make a difference, you still have to take the full day off for it.
When I finally entered his examination room, he greeted me and introduced me to his assistant, a young, friendly brunette with glasses. I really love my OBG, he's so nice and for some reason I think he really likes me too. It's probably because of my endometriosis and during the treatment I became one of his favourite patients because I posed such a challenge for him and all the other doctors as they had a hell of a job finding out what was wrong with me (always my pleasure). So he told his assistant she'd better always be particularly nice to me as I was a special person and upon this, I nearly had to cry. I know it's pathetic, but I think it's just so nice - especially in a world where you increasingly get the feeling doctors don't care about you as a person.
Afterwards, he checked my breasts and, again, no reaction whatsoever upon showing off my boobs, which makes it so not awkward because you know it's just their job to check your boobs (so for all women, no need to be restrained or embarrassed).
There was, however, once a funny incident with my OBG where he commented I had a model's dream bosom. Of course, it was merely for medical reasons as my boobs stopped growing in stage two out of three and therefore still enjoy the perkiness of a teenager's bosom, apparently.
Well, after that, on the chair - the dreaded chair, which I don't really dread at all. Sure, it's weird to run around the practice with nothing on down under, but hey, it's just about getting used to it.
As his assistant was still being trained, he explained everything about my innards, yet again complimenting my apparently beautiful uterus (upon which I always struggle to answer. What are you supposed to say to that compliment? "Thanks, I get told that constantly"?) Afterwards, she asked whether she could have a go with the ultrasound penis-formed thingy and I agreed...whatever. So poking around again, I thought I had the worst behind me before she pushed her fingers up inside me (the closest I will ever get to having it with a woman) and hammered on my bladder all the same time (painful). Alright, so that was the worst part, then...
Er, it wasn't. Afterwards, he announced he would do the rectal examination and before I could protest or say anything otherwise he pushed his finger up the other end...not nice to tell, I know, but I am still slightly traumatised and have heard you should talk about your trauma until it makes sense, so here goes...
I have never had anal (and definitely didn't think I would have my first (and hopefully last) time with my OBG) and after this experience have confirmed that I will never ever do such a thing because it's not only painful, but disgusting as hell (sorry for all you people who are into it, but just not my thing). So, I don't mind seeing my OBG and having people poking around my lady parts, but my back parts, I would like to keep to myself in the future.
By the way, everything was fine in the end, in case you were wondering.
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