For many women, the visit to their gynecologist is apparently an absolute horror scenario, some have even told me they prefer going to the dentist. I, personally, cannot comprehend this as the OBG's finger poking in your vagina at least doesn't prevent you from speaking, right? The most horrible thing about being at the dentist is the powerlessness you feel because you're tied to a chair and muted by having to open your mouth all the time. I can at least chit-chat with my OBG while he's doing his work.
Yes, you read correctly. I have a male OBG, apparently another horror scenario for some women and, again, something I cannot quite grasp why. I must say, I don't mind going to the OBG. I wouldn't care if seven doctors were looking at my lady parts at the same time because they're doctors, they don't blush upon seeing your doorway to heaven or make these weird sounds sexually interested men make when seeing your lady parts. Actually, my OBG's disinterest in my vagina as a sexual thing reaches a level of offensiveness, seriously, it's as if he were looking at my elbow or something.
Anyway, I went to see him earlier this week and, as always, it was just such a bizarre experience I wanted to tell you about it - though for many women even talking about their visits to their OBG issues blushing and embarrassment, so if you're one of these prudes, I wouldn't recommend reading on, as anal interaction is being involved as well.
Ready? Set, go. First of all, I had to wait forty minutes into the arranged time and I still don't understand why - even if you make an appointment - you always have to wait with doctors. Seriously, whether you make an appointment or just pop up, it doesn't make a difference, you still have to take the full day off for it.
When I finally entered his examination room, he greeted me and introduced me to his assistant, a young, friendly brunette with glasses. I really love my OBG, he's so nice and for some reason I think he really likes me too. It's probably because of my endometriosis and during the treatment I became one of his favourite patients because I posed such a challenge for him and all the other doctors as they had a hell of a job finding out what was wrong with me (always my pleasure). So he told his assistant she'd better always be particularly nice to me as I was a special person and upon this, I nearly had to cry. I know it's pathetic, but I think it's just so nice - especially in a world where you increasingly get the feeling doctors don't care about you as a person.
Afterwards, he checked my breasts and, again, no reaction whatsoever upon showing off my boobs, which makes it so not awkward because you know it's just their job to check your boobs (so for all women, no need to be restrained or embarrassed).
There was, however, once a funny incident with my OBG where he commented I had a model's dream bosom. Of course, it was merely for medical reasons as my boobs stopped growing in stage two out of three and therefore still enjoy the perkiness of a teenager's bosom, apparently.
Well, after that, on the chair - the dreaded chair, which I don't really dread at all. Sure, it's weird to run around the practice with nothing on down under, but hey, it's just about getting used to it.
As his assistant was still being trained, he explained everything about my innards, yet again complimenting my apparently beautiful uterus (upon which I always struggle to answer. What are you supposed to say to that compliment? "Thanks, I get told that constantly"?) Afterwards, she asked whether she could have a go with the ultrasound penis-formed thingy and I agreed...whatever. So poking around again, I thought I had the worst behind me before she pushed her fingers up inside me (the closest I will ever get to having it with a woman) and hammered on my bladder all the same time (painful). Alright, so that was the worst part, then...
Er, it wasn't. Afterwards, he announced he would do the rectal examination and before I could protest or say anything otherwise he pushed his finger up the other end...not nice to tell, I know, but I am still slightly traumatised and have heard you should talk about your trauma until it makes sense, so here goes...
I have never had anal (and definitely didn't think I would have my first (and hopefully last) time with my OBG) and after this experience have confirmed that I will never ever do such a thing because it's not only painful, but disgusting as hell (sorry for all you people who are into it, but just not my thing). So, I don't mind seeing my OBG and having people poking around my lady parts, but my back parts, I would like to keep to myself in the future.
By the way, everything was fine in the end, in case you were wondering.
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