HAPPY NEW YEAR! We've all made it and now normalcy can prevail. We can calm down from Christmas and fireworks and embrace the January depression (because, what else can you do?)
People who know me know as much as I love Christmas, I hate New Year's Eve. It stresses me to think a new year is coming, with so little having been accomplished in the last one and the deep inner knowledge that next year will not bring much more. That is why I don't make resolutions (NNYER=No New Year's Eve Resolutions). I have decided to treat it as a day as any other (apart from the six course dinner and the fireworks, thank you mummy) and slide into the new year with the same attitude as last year's because I don't want my attitudes to be tied to something as short-lived as the transition into the new year. I have been wanting to be more active, eat healthier, etc, etc for months now and I will continue to want it even if everyone else has already failed to complete their resolutions and feels depressed about it.
Actually, this year NYE was pretty nice. We had dinner at my parents's house, lovely chats and I did an impression of Madam Chaminska (if you want to know what that is, click here and watch it, it is in German though) before heading off to my sister's flat because she has a roof terrace. My parents didn't leave the dogs and I am pretty sure they slept into the new year (lucky bastards). We headed up to the roof and had a great view from there over all the fireworks. My man gave me the new year's kiss and we waltzed into 2017. It was all very romantic.
After that, we headed into the city and went out until half past five in the morning, which was a bit too long for my taste, but alright. We had lots of fun and I didn't have insomnia ever since (probably I should drink more alcohol and party harder).
This year it was the first time since long ago that I didn't feel panic emerge - even though it is the most frightening year transition I have ever been at. I don't really have any good prospects for the future at the moment and still don't know where my path is going to lead me (or if I am even anywhere close to my path, probably I am still running around, lost in the woods); however, probably it is because I did many cool things in 2016 and feel like I have actually really accomplished something. For the first time, the thought "I need to move to England and work there" didn't pop into my head immediately. At least one tick, right?
Good. Now, let's proceed with something else. Recently, I wanted to do what I call my personal nightmare. Buy a bra. Holy cow, it's the most terrifying thing in the world (apart from buying a pair of trousers). Usually, I buy my bras at H&M but as I got a voucher, I wanted to buy something a bit more expensive and better and headed to Triumph, a lingerie store.
What I hate about these specialist stores is that there work five pimped, stick-thin, overly make-upped women who all fling themselves on you as soon as you enter the door. They bring you stuff to the dressing room, peek inside when you're half-naked and then, after all these bras you tried on, you come to your senses and realise you don't want to spend fifty Euros on less than a square metre of fabric. Then it is so difficult to hand everything back and leave the shop without having purchased anything. It actually hurts but I have finally gained the maturity to refrain from buying something only that the shop people are happy.
Triumph was OK, they were nice and let me leave without any further ado. However, next I went into Intimissimi (don't know where all the s and m belong, your choice) and there it was horrifying. I didn't even ask for help and browsed the shelves on my own before snatching two bras and disappearing into a dressing room. As I was standing there, close to naked and the bra pressing into my boobs, a tiny, weeny saleswoman looked inside (without asking, in case you were wondering) and with a voice which would have fit a five-year-old said: "How are we getting on in here?" First of all, there is no we. I was alone. Second, BACK OFF BITCH. I wasn't asking for advice or help but soon I was finding myself swamped in bras of every size and shapes she kept throwing in my room whilst shouting "Oh, this one looks SOOOO good on you, really a great fit, don't you think, don't you think, DON'T YOU THINK?"
Slightly intimidated, I tried on some of the bras and they were all lovely, but not what I was looking for. I was just about to buy the last one, just to have something bought and shut up the saleswoman when a weird mood set on me. I decided I had the right to leave without buying something, especially when she had imposed herself on me. From outside I could already hear her ask my slip size and I knew it was time to flee. Decisively, I marched out, tossed the bras into her arms and declared none of them were right for me.
"But the last one fitted you so well", she said, slightly personally offended, but I didn't give a shit. I waved to my sister to signal we were leaving and, with my head and pride high, left the shop, leaving an offended saleswoman behind.
Well, there are these days and if there were any resolutions for this year it would be to continue my personal growth exactly as it is as I am starting to become a person I finally like and this is probably the most important resolution one could make: just accept yourself the way you are and start believing in yourself.
Writer. Editor. Blogger. YouTuber. Freelancer. Traveller. English fanatic.