You might wonder why I tend to such a topic, as I am a woman but I think it is highly fascinating.
I am in a relationship, as you know, and I couldn't help noticing that with male groups, there is apparently a clear hierarchy with alpha and beta males.
Remember these times at school when people would say "boys are so much easier, they probably fight for a moment but then they are friends again whereas girls lead constant, back-stabbing fights with another". Remember? Well, I do and I can relate to it. I think women can be far more vicious in their evilness as they are subtle and can still smile broadly while stomping you into the ground.
However, I think the reason for that is the insufficiently clear hierarchy within girls' systems. Apparently, women do not as easily subordinate as men do and there is a permanent battle going on as to who is the queen bee. With men, it seems to be easier. Remember the fight I mentioned earlier? (if you don't do now you should see a doctor as it was literally in the previous paragraph) We say boys fight once and then they're friends again but that is because they fight for the hierarchy, apparently, and one then subordinates and the alpha male succeeds. I know, it sounds as if I was talking about animals, but aren't we all animals within?
The men I know are prime examples, take a group of three. Two beta males, one alpha. They don't even seem to question it - that's the assigned hierarchy and there you go. No trouble, one is the leader, the other two subordinate as if it was the most natural thing on the planet.
Is that good? Is that better? Well, probably many people would argue it is easier to decide for a hierarchy once and then be good with it instead of ongoing fights about the queen bee position...well, maybe...but aren't we humans to rise above the primal instincts of hierarchy and alpha/beta males? I can just say that I think alpha males are considerably obnoxious and horrible but having a man as partner who is permanently shying away from another man isn't the dream for most women either, I guess...
So what are we to do? There has been attempts in the world of feminism and femininity to erase the constant battles and rather support another than throw stones in each other's ways, but to be honest, I'd rather throw stones than subordinate to a malign, narcissistic alpha who thinks he/she owns the world, right?
But what about the men? Couldn't there be a third party? The gamma man? There actually is such a thing (who would have thought?), but couldn't we just all get rid of the stigmas and be who we are - whoever we are? You cannot tell me that the beta males genuinely enjoy being pushed and shoved around by the alpha males and that a woman actually looks forward to her next cat fight with her peers, right? Huh, you can sense where this is leading back to, right? Of course, it's me, so we're talking school education here YET AGAIN. At school we are taught - from day one - that hierarchy is everything. Teachers are above you, students from higher years can do with you whatever they want and so on and so forth...
So how on earth are we supposed to get rid of the labels of these stigmas and become kind but independent and charismatic people when the earliest institutionalised system of our childhood tells us that is totally OK to stigmatise people according to their behaviour and that a hierarchy from top to bottom is absolutely acceptable? I demand a revolution against these stupid systems as they suppress everyone - even the alpha males. It must be absolutely terrible to never have anyone talk back to you and never find the limit along which you want to orientate yourself. I remember a time when I was a child. I had three friends, two of which who did everything I wanted; one which sometimes talked back. Over the year I became crueller and more horrible to them every day because I wanted to find the border they wouldn't show me. See? I have been on both sides and it sucks - the alpha side probably even more.
And I am not saying that everyone is the born leader and that some people aren't happy if others make the big decisions, but there is a huge difference between subordination and choosing to support someone else whose decision-making we admire and trust.
So, men in the world, stop being alphas and betas and be who you are. The alphas are allowed to give in control a little and the betas can say if they are unhappy with a situation. Women, stop fighting and embrace the diversity and beauty of our sex. We are all queens and no one of us is a bee (and for the few who actually want to be a bee...well, there is nothing I can do for you...). Let's make the sexes great again! (did I steal that from somewhere...feels kind of familiar...if only I knew where it came from...)
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