In less than three weeks, I will be a Sadie, Sadie, married lady, which is also why I have been quite absent from blogging. However, with our big day inching closer every day, I wanted to share some insights about our wedding and some ideas, thoughts, etc. If you're interested which conclusions I have already drawn about what you DON'T need at a wedding (in my opinion), read my blog post here.
The response I get the most in these days before my upcoming wedding, is that I must be terribly stressed and nervous - weirdly neither is really true. Do I call my mum every day to discuss one last detail (and it's never the last)? Of course! Do I hope everything will go smoothly on our big day? Bet on it. Yet, there is not fretting, panicking or fear - at least until now. I must say, more than anything else I am really looking forward to it. I prepared the music myself, so I know it will be fantastic and I can't wait to to see so many people who love us and want to celebrate our biggest love with us.
And, of course, I can't wait to become my man's wife.
In fact, the biggest issue I've had in the past days was that I felt I should be more nervous, which, ironically, made me more nervous - but that's women for you. I've discussed this issue with my father and he came to the wise conclusion that people who worry about the nitty-gritty details of their weddings too much, may want to divert from the fact that there is not much going on content-wise in their weddings, which is what I want to write about in this blog post as well. Whenever I was invited to weddings, I often felt saddened by the fact that the love between two people was more ridiculed than anything - either through idiotic and humiliating wedding games or bland jokes about matrimony. Why on a day of celebrating love, do you think it is the right time to say out loud that the man's good days are over, now that he is tied to a woman? Why are there still jokes about how she now must cook him proper meals as his wife?
I reject these "traditions" of mockery because I think it occurs mainly with people who simply cannot take the rare and pure beauty of love. Love can be something hard to bear and to celebrate if you have never been accustomed to the feeling, at least that is how I try to explain such behaviour.
My man and I, no surprise there, have firmly stated we wish to have no such parlour games at our wedding and will certainly not expose ourselves to the ridicule of other people on our big day, as I think it adds nothing wonderful or honest to the entire atmosphere.
Probably this is also one reason why I am not really nervous. Compared to many other brides I know, I was very involved in planning this wedding and have firmly established what we (I) wanted and didn't want. From the whispers and secret WhatsApp groups, I know my people have organised a surprise or two, but I trust my friends and family to only do presentations or what-have-you that won't humiliate our love and us in front of our entire family and friends.
Once I was at a wedding where the bride was blindfolded and had to guess her husband by checking out various man's calves with her hands. So basically, as a bride you have to blindfolded your perfectly make-upped face and crouch on the floor in your expensive wedding dress for everybody else's entertainment? No way! A really terrible tradition, I think, is the money-collecting. At my cousins' weddings, the people tossed coins at the couple, which they had to sweep up with brooms, which was permanently delayed because some stupid lunatic thought it hilarious to empty the bucket whenever it was almost full. HAHA, I can't stop laughing (in case, you missed, it that was sarcasm). Even worse, afterwards the man sits down and the woman, wearing an apron, has to dance for him or something - it's highly disturbing.
In my opinion, and what I have learnt from planning this wedding, the success or failure of our big day is tied to very few conditions: good people, good food, good music. Anything else is an option and whether the menu cards have a mistake, it's raining bucket loads of water or my hairdo unravels during the day should really not be a reason to let this wonderful event to be tainted.
Stay tuned for more wedding-related content in the upcoming days :-)
Writer. Editor. Blogger. YouTuber. Freelancer. Traveller. English fanatic.