I just had the Intouch magazine pocketed and put it back on the shelf.
Alright, you have no idea what that means, so I will explain. It means I am stronger than I anticipated, it means that in my darkest hour (alright, not my darkest hour but a dark-ish hour), I was able to restrain myself from going on the spiral slide downwards and return something which isn't good for me (well, until I stopped at the candy shelf and bought a box of milky way rolls which I now all devoured in one go - but hey, success should be measured in small steps).
Now, for the few blessed who don't know what the Intouch magazine is, it is the lowest, foulest rank of gossip magazine there is, seriously, the language is lame and seems to be written by a fourteen year old with grammar problems, the pictures are so shamelessly taken out of archives and, altogether, the quality is to cry about. However, I have been reading it regularly on and off for years now, don't ask me why, but it proved to be some sort of weird escapism method for me into a world which is so shallow and, in fact, like a bad adult picture book that it somehow soothed me - only that it didn't. Like with every drug in our lives, it appeared to make me happier when it only dragged me further down into the abyss.
Wow, very dramatic. Anyhow, I put it back and managed to get myself together.
Today wasn't the best of days, which was mainly because I slept too long and couldn't get myself assembled in the morning. Additionally, I didn't leave the house until late afternoon, which is never a good start. AND, I downloaded the last season of PLL (Pretty Little Liars) and am henceforth fighting the urge to watch it all in one go (and failing).
I was in a foul mood the past hours, believe me F.O.U.L. - until I went out, got a smile from the till lady and breathed in some fresh air - weird what can turn everything around, isn't it? So, for today I can say, get out, smile and get smiles back because even if you're shouting and screaming at the world in your head, there is nothing more powerful than a genuine smile.
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