Don't judge me - because I am already doing it myself - but recently I joined a gym. You know, I am getting fatter by the minute and now that I have an all-day-sit-down job, I figured it would be wise to get my thighs working (and the rest of my lazy body).
So far, I feel I have become fatter (how is that possible?) and my body feels constantly strained, but, hey, give it some time, right?
I have to tell you something about gyms. I used to hate them - and still kind of do. First of all, the thought of going to a place with the car or bus to ride a bike seems hilariously absurd to me and second, using these various machines is so utterly boring, right?
Kind of...I started going to the gym because my mum had a voucher and I could test it for free. I have to admit I like walking on the cross-trainer as long as there is aggressive dubstep music to motivate me along. However, I know myself well enough to know I wouldn't tramp away on the cross-trainer in the future, but this gym (which also makes it exceedingly expensive) offers a variety of courses, which in the end made my decision. Now I have an array of courses like Tae Bo, Zumba, Yoga, Dance, Aerobics, etc, etc, etc at my service instead of having to pay for a course I, most of the time, don't even want to visit on this specific evening I have booked it for, as on THIS specific evening I have decided to be extra tired. Now, I don't have that excuse anymore. If I am too tired on Tuesday, well, there is another great course on Wednesday available...
So far, so good, but you know me, there is always something. I have been in some courses and liked most of them (apart from Yoga/fasciae training which simply killed me), but I find some of the people there rather odd. Now, I know I deem some people to be rather odd, but there is a new species I have encountered and I call it the boring-housewife-doesn't-have-any-life-content-but-gym-and-needs-to-permanently-remind-other-people-of-the-circumstance-that-she-is-here-more-often-than-you-and-therefore-must-be-better-than-you-and-can-talk-condescendingly-to-you-species. This species consists of nice women, middle-aged, whose children are long gone, their husbands earn enough money so they don't have to go work and who spend their whole day in the gym, toning their teeny weeny butts.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with this per se; however, the funny thing is that there is some sort of territorial issue going on, but let me give you an example.
As already said, I enrolled at the gym and checked out various courses to see what will fit me best. I went to an Aerobic Dance class and I absolutely LOVED it. It was the perfect mixture of aerobics and easy choreographing. There was this woman there, petite, slim and with a faux blonde pony tail bouncing on her head. She approached me and my sister - who was joining me for the class - and clearly tested the waters. Within minutes, we had learnt that she had been coming to this gym for twenty years and she knew the whole schedule by heart and gave us the schedule verbally along with her personal recommendation for all of the classes. My sister and I being Reitlingers were just so happy to be accepted to a group and someone being our friend, that we didn't bother and smiled kindly (I mean, she was nice and all).
Anyway, the class was an advanced class and the teacher told us we should just go along and see how we cope and as I spent the past years training in ballet and jazz dance, the course was easy-peasy for me and I was among the few who could actually follow the teacher, despite some of the others being part of the "Aerobic gang" which had come here for twenty years. Still, after class, the blonde came and compassionately, yet slightly condescendingly, said: "Well, you kept up alright for the first time and you'll see it will become easier with time."
Wait, WHAT? I out-danced you so hard, sweet lady, that your dancing is still crying in the corner, do you hear me? I could only smirk at this because it was so blatantly obvious she was trying to mark her territory, but she did it by recruiting us, not excluding us, which I think is nice. So, now I am apparently part of her "Aerobic gang" and I am not sure whether I like it because I enrolled to the gym so I don't feel a sense of commitment to anything because of the flexibility of courses. I know this is my problem, but, seriously, I had a BAD CONSCIENCE for not going to the class last week, in case this woman was disappointed (I really need to see a psychotherapist for my pleasing-everyone-but-yourself issues). But I haven't given in and I go to classes I want, don't worry.
But moving on...last Wednesday I went to a Tae Bo class (a blend of Aerobics and kickboxing, the way it felt) and I enjoyed the class although it was exceedingly exhausting and, again, there was such a person in the class - this time, however, far more unsympathetic (she didn't invite me to be part of the Tae Bo gang). The class was like 180 pulse for 50 minutes, so my sister and I were only trying not to faint and in between exercises, this stupid cow suddenly turns to me and with a sickly sweet voice says: "Look, you have to put your arm like this in the push" and I responded (no kidding, I get cranky when I do sports) "this is my first time, so I am just concentrating on getting through." She seemed slightly offended, but I didn't care. I hate it when pseudo-fit people feel superior just because they do one class a week, especially if they're not even good, as I've learnt from the previous class that you can do something for twenty years and still suck at it. I'm not the fittest person in the world, granted, but I also don't run around and impose my pseudo-knowledge on others.
But you know what the worst thing about all this is? The lack of motivation and body tension. When I was in the Aerobics dance class, there were these life-bored, middle-aged women, proud that they more or less own the gym, but you know what? You could see that they were only doing it for lack of other life content and not because they loved it. Aerobics is some sort of status symbol and not a way to express themselves and you CAN SEE IT. They may have been doing this for way longer than I have actually lived on this planet, but it still looks sucky because there is no body tension, no drive, no sex, if you know what I mean. As soon as you've wrapped your head around the steps, you can start making a dance out of it, right? Well, that's what I do. These women don't. They look grumpy, do the exercises and leave, feeling superior because they have had their locker for the past hundred years and because they go to international aerobic fitness conventions. Well, let me tell you something, women, you won't look better doing it just because there is an internationally acclaimed fitness trainer in front of you...
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